is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
