as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
