I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
