Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
