You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
