Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
