you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
