Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
