I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
