I have demons in me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize