I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
