Screwed.edu
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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