quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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