I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You may now shotgun with the bride
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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