All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
