fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
