I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
