You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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