omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
