Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Someone signed my nipple.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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