New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Who wears a wallet chain?!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
