i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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