The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
