i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
