he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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