I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
