I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
