I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
