Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he told me I talked like a deaf person
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
