So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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