eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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