But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
