My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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