The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
