I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
