CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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