i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize