Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
