Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
