I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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