nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
time to smoke my breakfast
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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