Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
