O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
