you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
