But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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