Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
