im drinking this country out of the recession.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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