dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My ass is underappreciated
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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