shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Its about making memories worth repressing
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
