how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
