My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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