haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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