She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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