Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
