he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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