you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
