How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
