thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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