you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
