Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
