I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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